The Shameless Prayer of a Wandering Mind

I can still feel the profound silence of that Adoration chapel. The air was thick with reverence, the golden monstrance gleamed, and the only sound was the gentle hum of the ventilation. Everyone else seemed so… still. So holy. Their eyes were closed, their faces serene. They were clearly locked in a deep, intimate conversation with Jesus.

And me? My mind was a category-five hurricane.

Did I remember to move the laundry over? I need to pick up milk on the way home. Oh, that email I have to send tomorrow… wait, what was I thinking about? Oh right, prayer. Okay, focus. Jesus, I’m here. I love you. Gosh, my knee is starting to ache. I wonder if I have any ibuprofen at home. Shoot, stop it! Just be present!

I felt like a complete fraud. I wanted so badly to be still, to be present, but my mind was a runaway train. I left that chapel feeling more dejected than peaceful, convinced I was a failure at the one thing that was supposed to connect me to God: prayer.

If that feeling is at all familiar to you, take a deep, mindful breath. Because I’ve come to learn that this struggle isn't a sign of failure. In fact, it’s the perfect starting point.

"Lord, Teach Us to Pray"

For years, I thought I had to show up to prayer with my spiritual life perfectly in order. I thought I needed to have the right words, the right posture, and a mind clear of all distraction. But then I found myself sitting with a familiar passage from the Gospel of Luke, and it felt like a key unlocking a door in my heart.

The scene is simple: The disciples see Jesus praying, and when He is finished, one of them says, "Lord, teach us to pray" (Luke 11:1).

Let that sink in. These are the men who walked with Jesus every single day. They saw His miracles, they heard His preaching firsthand, and even they had to admit they didn't know how to do it. They had to ask for help.

In that one, simple request, they give us the most profound permission slip. They give us permission to be beginners. In the world of mindfulness, this is called having a "beginner's mind"—letting go of our expertise and our ego, and approaching something with fresh, curious, and humble eyes.

Admitting "I don't know how" is not a failure; it's the most honest prayer we can offer. It’s the humble recognition that prayer is not a technique we master, but a relationship we receive. When we can finally stop pretending we have it all together and just say, "Lord, my mind is a mess. Please, teach me," we are in the most receptive posture possible.

The Call to Be Shamelessly Persistent

What Jesus does next is fascinating. After giving them the beautiful words of the "Our Father," He tells them a story about a man banging on his friend's door at midnight, asking for bread. The friend eventually gets up, not because he’s a good friend, but because of the man’s "shameless persistence."

For a long time, I thought this meant I had to annoy God into listening to me. But that’s not it at all. This isn't about wearing God down. It's about our own disposition.

"Shameless persistence" is about being so rooted in the trust of a relationship that you're not afraid to be messy. You’re not afraid to show up at midnight with nothing. You’re not afraid to keep knocking when you feel nothing but silence. You’re not embarrassed by your wandering mind or your clumsy words. You just keep showing up.

This is where our prayer life and the practice of mindfulness beautifully intersect.

When you practice mindful breathing, the instruction isn't to never get distracted. That’s impossible. The instruction is to simply notice when your mind has wandered, and then, without judgment, gently return your focus to the breath.

This is the very essence of shameless persistence in prayer.

Your mind wanders to the grocery list. Notice. Gently return to Jesus.

You get lost in a worry about the future. Notice. Gently return to Jesus.

You start feeling bored, antsy, or like a fraud. Notice. Without judgment, gently return to Jesus.

This is the "ask, seek, knock" of the interior life. Every gentle return is a knock. Every humble admission of distraction is a seeking. Every breath offered back to Him is an asking. It's a trusting, moment-by-moment dialogue that says, "I'm still here. I'm still trying. Teach me."

Prayer is not about achieving a perfect state of Zen-like calm. It is about the persistent, loving, and shameless returning to the One who is always waiting for us, even and especially when our minds feel like a hurricane.

So next time you sit down to pray and your mind starts making a to-do list, don't despair. Smile. You're in good company. Take a breath, and with all the humility of a beloved disciple, just whisper, "Lord, teach me to pray." He will be so glad you asked.

Is Your Heart Closed for Business?

Faith is a hard thing to come by. It is a constant work in progress. Sometimes in our frustration our faith is encumbered and our ability to be with God becomes that more difficult. I think we all suffer through this ebb and flow with dealing with our faith in God. It is not like we cut God out completely, it is that we allow ourselves to focus on the distractions of life that we no longer put our trust in Him to lead us in His path. I think we forget that we are in the passenger seat, and God wants to be our chauffeur. However, it is hard to give up that sense of control. And, that is where our faith is most tested.

Be honest, we all want good things and to be happy. The truth is our happiest and fulfillment comes from our faith. If it is strong, we can conquer the obstacles that come in our way and we fight through our struggles. If it is weak, we often complain and like kids we whine about it. Faith is something we earn not something that is given. It takes practice and dedication to build our faith up to where its ability can move mountains. If our body needs exercise to thrive and remain healthy, likewise our hearts and souls need faith to fuel us for victory against evil and injustice.

In today’s Gospel, we learn about hospitality and openness. We learn that Jesus visits the home of Martha and Mary. Martha is annoyed at her sister, Mary, for sitting and listening to Jesus speak instead of helping her with the duties of welcoming a special guest. This Gospel shows us how Jesus is inclusive of everyone and open to all, which is something we are still striving for today. We also learn the importance of Jesus’ words and how our faith in Him needs to be strong.

Luke 10:40-42 states, “Martha burdened with much serving, came to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.” The Lord said to her is reply, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.”

I think we all feel like Martha at times. Our lives demand a lot just to keep going for our sake and the sake of our families. But, is that focus on dealing with life instead of keeping our focus on God that tests our faith. God wants all of us, not half of us or just piece of us. He wants us entirely to himself. Will our faith be strong enough to give up ourselves for his glory?

The time to choose “the better part” is now. We need to choose God in everything we do. Only then will our hearts and souls be finally open for business and our anxiety and worries will go away.    

Elevate Your Potential

I like riding the up escalator. Looking up or looking at what is to come.  However, we need to keep looking forward. We need stop ourselves from having the mindset of being satisfied with the things of the past successes. God awaits for our next adventure.

We all know someone or you have find yourself living below your potential. We were truly blessed with many gifts and talents, and so many great things happening in our lives, but we simply became too comfortable and settled with where our life has taken us. What we often forget is that God wants us to reach beyond the present to go even further.

We are called to increase life, happiness, wealth, love, and significance to the world. He has more in store for us then just our present lives and our past. We are seeds in the fields who haven’t finished growing. It is our responsibility to elevate to new levels in our abilities. We need God more during this time and we will see the vast improvements to our careers, our finances, and our relationships.

Remember we should be thankful and count our blessings. But God isn’t done with us. If I learned anything is that God is competitive with Himself. He likes to surpass and outdo His blessings to us. He wants us to be more blessed today then the day before.  Hence, we can keep pressing forward to make a bigger and better impact in the days to come. So if you are preacher, you haven’t spoken your best sermon yet. If you are a barista, you haven’t made your best cup of coffee yet. God tells us that are best days are coming.

We need to stop discouraging ourselves and talking down to ourselves. Get rid of that negative thinking.   No more thinking, Why can’t get a break? Why can’t I get that job or promotion? Why can’t I find that special woman or man? What’s wrong with me that no one wants to date me? We are God’s creation. His breath lives in us. We were made in His image. His greatness is in us. We have the capabilities to perform our destiny. We were born with the talent, the creativity, the desire, and the determination to go beyond our current potential. It is already in us. Our potential is an untapped well. We have to our part to dig in, get our hands dirty and do the work. We need to put in our very best effort to make better use of the abilities provided us with. It is our job now to be creative.

We are created by our loving God. Scripture teaches us we are special. However, just because we are special doesn’t mean we can sit and do nothing. We are special because God granted us with abilities to love each other more. Our talents and treasure is in service to others. I think you can agree we have come across that person who is really great at their job; like that doctor who you really like and has that special touch with his patients or that customer service representative who solves your problems and alleviates the stressful situation when your order is wrong or the wrongful charges on your credit card. Someone out there needs your special abilities.  Someone will need what your offer. God wants us to accomplish something.

So we are already know that we have great potential. But, are we ready to break free from our own limitations and elevate to the next level? Past failures often leave us with memories and fear. We find ourselves ignoring or walking around situations or dilemmas because of what happened before.  To elevate our potential we need to press forward and trust God more.

In high school I was overweight, and I remembered my peers telling me that I can’t do a certain thing because I was too big. I remember feeling like I couldn’t do anything right. I am too slow and unattractive. I felt beaten up physically and emotionally. Spiritually I was a mess too. I doubted God and blamed Him for everything. Then one day, I prayed that things would be better. I think when we pray God doesn’t just grant us our greatest desires but grants us opportunities to make things better. After that day, I made an effort to think more positive. I decided every day that I would thank God for something I am. I would start the day saying, I am a good listener. I am good at consoling at those with great pain. I am funny and I am reliable. I am a great friend. I trusted God and I was starting to heal from my self-esteem. I stopped listening to those peers who put me down and spent my time building the relationships with people who appreciated me. Someone will always need what you have to offer.

My point is what people think of you does not determine your potential. God has placed our potential to be great in each of us. We cannot allow negative thinking and bad attitudes to fester and grow in us like a cancerous tumor. We have to endure and press forward. God doesn’t let us dream without providing us with the necessity ability to obtain our dreams. He didn’t promise He would just give it to us, but He did provide all the tools for us to elevate ourselves to obtain our dreams and desires.

God doesn’t make mistakes. We may often find ourselves overwhelmed and find it impossible to go after our dreams. We must take a minute and remember God lives within us and He will not disappoint us. He will give us the opportunity to accomplish anything. God will not ask of you without already giving it to us. It is with great faith, you will discover gifts inside that you never knew were already there.

At times we will get rejected and knocked down. Don’t let discouragement grow in you. Don’t settle and don’t rationalize why it can’t be. Do not give up too easily on your dream. Just like God opens doors He will also close doors too. While we may not understand why He does what He does, it is important that we trust Him. It’s been life experience that if the door closes it’s because God has something better in store for me. I like to think that God is my GPS and he sees a traffic jam and I need to be rerouted. So when things feel like a dead end, trust that God will get you to where you need to be with the people who need you the most.